So I am settling into farm life. So much so that I find myself cruising the craigslist ads for “rescue home needed”. Let’s remember that I am still in a rental house…
It started with the Alpacas. The ad read – 3 Alpacas Free to a Good Home or will go to Auction. I learned recently that “auction” means “animal butcher”. The ad said they would bring them to us and that they were sweet, loving and would just take a little time to get used to.
I call and feel like I am speaking to someone from the Dukes of Hazard. He agrees to bring them over the next day. I read up on all things Alpaca. They are apparently a little standoffish, can spit at you, don’t really like human contact. Great – this is going to work out wonderfully.
A massive trailer pulls into our driveway and backs up to the field gate. Boss Hog opens the door and all I see are three terrified alpacas, two white and one black. They do not look friendly.
Boss Hog shoos them out and they run to the field like synchronized swimmers. They are aloof to say the least, the move in unison, they don’t like to be touched. They just want to hang with the goats and eat. Other than that we serve no purpose for them.
Trying to cheer me up and knowing how much I love “pigs” told me that two piggies needed a new home. One was named “BeatBox” and the other a little girl named “Dolly”. I was so excited and yet my loving husband was sketchy on the details. He knew they were smart so he made sure we had the proper accommodations for them with a fence dug deep and a cute little house. Winter is coming after all. One afternoon a truck arrived and I was told “Pigs are here!!”
Well the door opens and no, I was not running to hug a little baby pink piggie that was going to talk to the goose I would eventually have – noooooooooo. I was greeted by two MASSIVE and I mean like 300 pound massive GREY, HAIRY, HAVE TUSKS – BOARS!!!!!!
“they needed a new home” he said to me. “They would have been killed”. OMG seriously.
They are now living in their new home. If anyone has watched Criminal Minds there is an episode where a serial killer brings dead women to a pig farm where he throws the girls in and the pigs devour them. I feel like these guys would have gotten their SAG cards.
We currently have two goats, 3 alpacas and 2 boars. It’s starting to get cold. Water bowls are starting to freeze. Welcome to Farm life.