"I used to think I had some control over my life...Now I just pull up a chair & watch the shit show unfold before me."
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CAN’T SHARE A RECIPE OR A WORKOUT BUT I’M GREAT WITH A REMOTE CONTROL…
So by now we are all very clear that I am incapable of boiling water and definitely not filming myself hiking up a hillside or participating in the latest yoga class… what I am good at is finding the weirdest shit on TV and thought I would take a moment…
WTF?! No really WTF?!
Yeah yeah… I write a post then I swear I am going to write more regularly and then poof 6 months go by and I am sitting here on April 15th, 2020 – having been quarantined for 45+ days and the world has gone to shit. WOW I guess I…
Complicated.
My dad died two weeks ago yesterday. It feels like it was months ago but it was just 14 days ago when I received a letter from a lawyer at 9:06am telling me he had passed at 7am that morning. It felt surreal. It felt empty. It felt sad. My…
Horses, Bunnies, Goats & Ice Cream! Yep!
I made a commitment to blog more often and here with my last post on March 31st and this is the first moment of peace I have had to actually write a post. The crazy part is my last few months would require 8 posts so I am going to…
Winner! Winner! You have Type 2 Diabetes!
As many of you know I have Lupus. It’s an auto immune disease that I am not going to bore you with the details except to say it sucks. You are always tired – and it’s a kind of tired you will NEVER understand. It’s a disease where your own…
I want to kick Oprah off her bike!
Belated Happy New Year to everyone! I cannot believe it’s already Jan 22. I am writing this from the TUNDRA of Upstate NY where today the high is 2 degrees and the low yesterday was -7. The New Year started with a list of resolutions. Rejoin Weight Watchers Actually Follow…
The Holidays – When the SHIT Show is at it’s finest.
For the love of God – it’s Friday before Christmas and I am fucking exhausted. It seems each year from Thanksgiving until I watch a zillion morons in Times Square (ALL who had to go pee LONG before that ball drops but are stuck like cattle being held for slaughter)…
The career I wish I had!
I love to decorate. I have been known to change paint colors monthly, bedding weekly and get ideas in the middle of the night that I want to execute in the AM and be done by the PM. I am obsessed with HGTV, Etsy, Overstock.com, Domino Magazine, Apartment Therapy, Instagram…
What doesn’t kill you.. Just Fucks with you Mentally! Happy Thanksgiving!
Ahhhh it’s that wonderful time of year. The time of year when you have yet to celebrate Thanksgiving and the retailers already have Christmas trees decorated, Christmas music playing and are already sharing their holiday “return policy”. Not coming from a large family meant small Thanksgivings. Even when I got…
Don’t sugarcoat it cuz I would eat that too!
I need to vent today about weight. Specifically my weight. I was not a chunky child. I think I was probably pretty average. I did ballet and gymnastics and the biggest issue I had was that my boobs got big fast and when I was young. Now that could be…
I Voted. Cuz he’s a serious shit show!
Like many Americans I have spent the last two years shaking my head, throwing shit at my TV, become way too familiar with the hosts of MSNBC, been embarrassed that this lying lunatic is our President. Between his thinner than thin skin, his bullying, his insults, his tweets, his poor…
FRIENDS WHO KICK ASS!
Millbrook, NY is a mere 84 miles apart. There is a lovely Metro North train that takes you from Grand Central to Poughkeepsie and/or Dover Plains where we wait in our suv (with a sticker that says GET OFF MY ASS). More for cars behind me but maybe more for…
Goats & Grandma!
I love my mom. I love her so much that we talk everyday – and she lives in Hong Kong. We giggle and laugh and other times we are so alike we want to kill each other. She’s a cross between Joan Crawford and Joan Collins with some Devil Wears…
Yes i know the photo is blurry…
Ok, So I realize this is not the city. I get it that I am living in the country and therefore should heed those “Deer Crossing” signs because there are probably a family of Bambi’s around. I see road kill literally everywhere. I have mice in the house and wild…
HOUSEWARMING AND WE DIDN’T GET A TOASTER!
When I finally felt like I wanted to show the house the invites went out. Anyone who knows me – knows I throw a pretty great party and what great party doesn’t have a goodie bag. We invited city friends with kids, without kids, new Millford friends. It was amazing!…
My Love Affair with Color!
As I have expressed before if I could change careers I would be an interior designer. The problem is that if you like MY taste we are all good. If you want me to like YOUR taste we are dead before we start. I won’t find a way to work…
The BIG Reveal!
It’s been 61 days exactly – 61 days since we got the keys to our new home. ^1 days of snow, freezing weather, power outages. But the house is finished!!!! Here’s a list of what we did in 61 days. All new power and plumbing – the boring stuff All…
Some guy killed his mom in our motel room. Yup!
These are the stories that truly make up the charm and color commentary of my “shitshow life”. We had a snow storm. A massive, “knock the shit out of every power line” in the area snow storm. We are still in the rental but the new house is almost done….
Snow, Snow and More Snow!
So when we moved up here everyone warned us of the “snowstorms”. I thought how bad could it possibly be? I always thought of snow as that pretty stuff that floats in a snow globe or brown/black shit in the city covered in dog pee. What I did not know…
Goat Hill Manor
OK So New Years is over. We did our usual sparkling cider toast at midnight. Never mind that we both fell asleep 3 times before the ball dropped. I watch these morons in the freezing cold in Times Square waiting HOURS upon HOURS for a ball to drop. Between needing…
WE BOUGHT A HOUSE ON AN ONLINE AUCTION! BEFORE IMAGES!
It’s December. It’s freezing up here, the snow storms are coming in almost daily, the water bowls for the goats freeze over – we had a crash course in “Heated water bowls”. The dogs look outside and then back at me as if to say – “yeah no way lady…
Birthdays, Power Outages and Snow Ploughs!
We are in the dead of winter. It’s December, my birthday is over although my husband did get me the most amazing cake! There is snow everywhere. Walking out to feed animals is akin to hell or frostbite. We survived a snow storm that caused all the power to go…
Pigs Don’t All Look like “BABE” & Alpacas are way Cuter on T-shirts!
So I am settling into farm life. So much so that I find myself cruising the craigslist ads for “rescue home needed”. Let’s remember that I am still in a rental house… It started with the Alpacas. The ad read – 3 Alpacas Free to a Good Home or will…
Escaping Goats & Lady Bugs
Another week upstate and the craziness continues. Let’s start with the goats! Yes GOATS! I have long dreamed of living on a farm with a myriad of animals. I have never been a mommy to anything more than a cat or a dog but in my head I am a…
Chickens, Digging & Squirrel Hall
It’s Wednesday and so much to share with you all. It’s been 10 days since the BIG move upstate. Between becoming a pro at fly swatting, overcoming my fear of caterpillars with bizarre colors/textures and finding the local TJ Maxx/Homegoods – I thought I was feeling a little more settled….
The Mail Lady & My Amazon Prime Problem
You move into a rental house in the country that was covered in baskets, more baskets, dishes from the 20’s, silverware that you know has been used by at least three generations of people and yes – portraits of the owners children in every room staring at me like the…
Jesus Channels & Stinky Egg Water
So it’s been a few days….but in those few days we have a lot to catch up on. Our water stinks – like rotten eggs. Ever faucet in every shower or sink smells like SHIT! So I call the local plumber and got his answering machine: “Hi you’ve reached Fisher Plumbing…
Stink Bugs & the State Police
What a weekend! Here are the highlights. When we decided to move up here for 4-6 months I had to buy a car. Driving (with a driver) by the closest Dunkin Donuts I passed a mechanic. Joe’s Mechanic to be specific. Sitting outside was an old Ford Explorer that looked great,…
Omg…are We There Yet?
Ok so it was the “final move” today. Meaning a car with the bras I forgot to pack, jewelry I will never wear here, my His & Her mugs, the dog leashes (because I have dogs who would run as far into the 22 acres as they could and become a…
The Shitshow Begins
Everyone has a blog. Why on earth would I add to the already crazy world of food bloggers, mommy bloggers, daddy bloggers, Fido the Pug bloggers, travel the world bloggers and fashionista bloggers? Because I have just made a major life change, temporarily leaving NYC to move to Upstate NY…
