These are the stories that truly make up the charm and color commentary of my “shitshow life”.
We had a snow storm. A massive, “knock the shit out of every power line” in the area snow storm. We are still in the rental but the new house is almost done. We are also freezing. We have 3 dogs and 6 goats. Everyone is miserable. We started at the new house where we thought the power would hold up – nope. We then loaded up the car with dogs and goats and went to the new house. Just STOP for a minute and VISUALIZE that!!!!!!!
10 Minutes then and bam – no power! There is a motel across the street called The Cotton Wood. It’s no W Hotel but it had power. So off to the motel we go with the dogs. Left the goats in their shed – they have cashmere on so they can hang!
We are in the motel for 20 minutes when – yep you guessed it – power line crashes to the ground just as my dog is peeing on their carpeting. I am so tired, I am in tears. Andre is trying to hold us together but dear Jesus! This is a shit show of epic proportions. I have 2% battery life left on my phone and I use it to call “Kevin” who is in the city and who of course HAS power!!!!!
Side note: If you live in an area where the power goes out all the time because your fucking power lines are above ground and a burp of wind or a flake of snow causes the lines to break – don’t ya think you should figure this shit out??? Maybe under ground electricity? Just a thought.
Back to Kevin. I am crying begging him to call any hotel in the area and find us shelter. I am not made for this shit. We wait in the powerless Cottonwood Motel room which BTW is getting really really cold.
Kevin calls back and says he has found us a room – the only room within 30 miles that is willing to hold a room for us, needs a 30 buck as a deposit for my dogs but if we can get there in 10 minutes it’s ours.
We load up the car and drive to the Pleasant Valley Motel.
Another side note: Let’s remember that we moved to Millbrook. So to say we know all the motels in the area would be well. moronic. We hear Motel – we know it’s not a 5 start hotel but how bad can it be??
As we pull up I realize it’s the motel I have always thought was a crack house since we moved here. It looks beyond awful from the outside. The lady at the desk who wants my $30.00 deposit has a single tooth, is smoking a capri cigarette and it smells to high heaven of booze. She tells us our room is on the bottom floor across the parking lot. “Watch those dogs don’t do their business” she yells to me as I run out of that caged lobby.
I am a little afraid but Jesus if they have heat how bad can it be. I open the door and I literally want to gag. The room is beyond disgusting. There is a hole in the bathroom door, the room stinks of death and when I tell you it was filthy please believe me. If we had a black light I promise you ever bodily function would appear in bright green. I promise you it’s never seen a housekeeper. Andre refuses to take his clothes off or his shoes. We find a blanket in the car to lay across the bed. I can feel bed bugs, maybe just bugs, maybe my imagination.The bathroom is black and covered in mold. It is FUCKING AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!
I am frantically texting “Kevin” who is trying to explain to me that there is literally no where with heat or power anywhere. I am screaming like a 2 year old. Andre is already passed out next to me. It’s just one night. If we can get through to tomorrow maybe we can find a generator (sure good luck with that) and go home!
The devil himself did not kill me last night, I didn’t catch anything I can visably see, I made it alive. We pack up and drive to the new house. I will build a fire in the living room before I sleep in that shithole one more night.
When we get home and I start texting friends in Millbrook to tell them we are ok and where we were last night, I am met with this reply – “Oh crap that motel? It’s a drug den and did you know a guy killed his mother there a year ago – cut her up in pieces and put her in a storage bin in the bathroom for months. He then packed her up and drove down south to scatter body parts.”
I told you they didn’t clean the rooms!
PS: I cannot thank Andre’s cousin Chad enough for the special unexpected delivery of a generator that we put to good use. 🙂